Hi, Nice to Meet You. How Much Money Do Yo Make?

A note from frequent commenter “bc” in response to my spring break post. Genius really.

I don’t get a Spring Break, so I can’t  answer this one, but it does remind me of an idea I’ve always had.

I’ll preface this by saying I’m in no way denying my shallowness.  I’ve always said that everyone should be made to wear a name tag at all times that simply states the following:

1. Name (I’m bad at remembering these)

2. Annual salary including bonus (this lets me know if that nice car is leased, if that nice house was a family gift, etc)

3. Number of partners (not business partners – you do understand where I’m going, right?)

These are the things I want to know every time I’m shaking someone’s hand, smiling, and saying “Hi [insert name], nice to meet you.” 

It really sums up the basics, gives you some insight into your chances, and cuts through all the fakeness.  Of course, it would have to be some futuristic concept where people couldn’t lie, etc.

-bc (the really shallow version of bc, anyways)

By Merritt Patterson Mar. 24, 2010 | 10:11 am | 18 Comments | Comments RSS
18 comments to "Hi, Nice to Meet You. How Much Money Do Yo Make?"
  1. kmom @ March 24, 2010 at 10:20 am
    An old Park Cities tradition is to ask what 100 block they live on, as long time residents know what 100 block of each street has the nice houses, or the lil cottages. Or heaven forbid, DUPLEX’s. Or worse, the one’s past the city limits that are within the DALLAS city limits. Speaking of, you can now tell where Dallas starts and University Park ends right now by the piles of tree limbs on the street. UP & HP have picked ‘em all up, Dallas hasn’t. Drive down Southwestern toward Central – you can tell where it turns into Dallas, it looks like everyone is building beaver dams on their front side walks.

  2. Kersten Rettig @ March 24, 2010 at 11:23 am
    I think many cities and enclaves have questions they ask to approximate wealth and breeding, though they might not be as obvious as bc’s. I went to college in St. Louis, Missouri and the question there is: Where did you go to high school? That answer says so much. First of all, the wrong answer is XYZ Public School, even if it was in Ladue, HP’s equivalent. Everyone goes to private schools there and where you went is an indication of how much money your family has, how long the family has been in St. Louis, how smart you are (or not). It’s silly. I prefer bc’s more straightforward approach.

  3. citygirl @ March 24, 2010 at 11:35 am
    Totally laughing about the 100 block thing. So true! And I have a friend that lives on Mockingbird and she told me that when someone pins her down on address they always tsk tsk about the answer. She says they always act like they are trying to make her feel better and that one lady even patted her on the hand! Outrageous! Another question I dislike: “What did your parents do for a living?”

  4. bc @ March 24, 2010 at 11:36 am
    I still ask someone what fraternity/sorority they were in if we are alumni from the same university. It will basically tell you the answer to #3 and give you some indication about their parent’s answer to #2.

    The answers would be most enlightening between the ages of 24-30 and 45-55 as people move through inheritances, first homes, divorces, etc.

  5. James Tucker @ March 24, 2010 at 12:19 pm
    An old doctor’s adage: Never xray someone’s wallet. I don’t need to know if someone’s car is leased or payed off. If don’t need to know if the house is mortgaged to the hilt or paid off. Treat everyone the same and you will never disappoint or be disappointed. The golden rule does not require a financial disclosure form to be applicable.

  6. A.B. @ March 24, 2010 at 1:08 pm
    Flying under the radar here–live on a duplex street but have converted our duplex to a single-family home (and many neighbors have as well).

  7. Sammy @ March 24, 2010 at 1:44 pm
    That’s like the standard ______ bar (I’ll leave the name out, but it’s not in the HP) greeting of “What do you do? What do drive? Do you rent or own?”

    Kind of keeps you from wasting your time with the ‘wrong kind’ of guy.

  8. bc @ March 24, 2010 at 2:39 pm
    @James Tucker:

    If we start talking about treating people the same regardless of money it will certainly devolve into some kind of crazy political fight. Let’s all just agree to judge everyone based on commonly established social hierarchies.

  9. G2 @ March 24, 2010 at 3:01 pm
    I like James’ take on things! Also, I have found that one’s address, country club or the car they drive are absolutely NO indication of their wealth … especially in this town. Here’s a good example: a couple we met in graduate school, we socialized every weekend, traveled, etc. We lost touch after school but 3 yrs. later ended up living 2 blocks from each other in U.P. After knowing them almost 10 years, found out they are from a mega-wealthy family that is a household name in the U.S. We had absolutely NO idea — they never said a word or let on. They lived in a nice 1930′s house about 3,000 sf and drove older model cars. A nice change from all the folks around here who live extravagantly and brag about everything they own, but live month to month trying to pay for it and project a certain lifestyle. That seems to be more the norm.

  10. PC Mom @ March 24, 2010 at 3:19 pm
    Yes, the 100 block thing still works!

  11. Sharpay @ March 24, 2010 at 5:09 pm
    I remember that a certain columnist once pointed out that a common way to gauge such things is to determine which Tom Thumb one frequents.

  12. kmom @ March 24, 2010 at 5:56 pm
    @Sharpay – is it a sign of snootiness to visit the crappy, tiny Thumb’s in HPV or Snider Plza? It would be bad to say the Kroger, right? I’m unclear on how to judge people by their grocer, I need a lesson.

  13. MK @ March 24, 2010 at 8:22 pm
    Kmom, in my humble opinion, it is social suicide to admit you shop at Kroger’s. Regardless of the crappy produce, narrow aisles and limited choices at the ‘hood Tom Thumb stores, they are an integral part of the Bubble community and must be recognized as such by the residents. It’s kind of an unwritten law, like eating at Kuby’s even though you have to share tables with weirdos sometimes. The only place I’d fess up to frequenting outside our township is Central Market.

  14. James Tucker @ March 25, 2010 at 11:01 am
    @bc the commonly established social hierarchy is about to change. Lawyers will remain near the top of our social strata, but bankers, stockbrokers and fund managers are about to take a beating. Doctors too will see their hierarchical position change as their place in society shifts lower than that of plumbers and electricians (who will not end up with mandates from the federal government on what to charge and when). Real estate agents both commercial and residential will also begin to see a shift in their social strata as more and more properties are foreclosed on and there is less of a public to sell them to. I best stop as I don’t want this to degenerate into some crazy political fight.

    @sammy, the new question won’t be what you drive or where you live, but what kind of health insurance do you have and are you a G15 or G16. IJS

  15. bc @ March 25, 2010 at 12:35 pm
    @James

    They’re GLG20′s. They’re spies like us.

  16. James Tucker @ March 25, 2010 at 2:25 pm
    @bc; The fact that I know what you are talking about is scary to me. Time for a brain dump.

  17. Jen @ March 25, 2010 at 10:24 pm
    How many people just googled GLG20′s?

  18. XT @ September 16, 2010 at 4:39 pm
    In U.P. we have taken to asking the question, “What Park are you?”. Now that everything patch of grass is named with a wall and giant lettering, you can do this too. Terms like “Hitzleberger East” (or West) work well. You can respond by simply saying stuff like, “I’m Caruth”. Or God forbid: “I’m Artha Garza”.

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