Men, I Need Your Help On This One

Help me out here. The man with the dark pants has his keys fastened on his back belt loop. It looks like they’re being held on with mountain climbing stuff. But this photo was taken outside of Kuby’s. Here’s what I can come up with.

  1. He’s Spider Man and at any moment he might need to whip out gear that helps him scale buildings and what not.
  2. I don’t really think there’s another reason to hang your keys there, I’ll have to go with Spider Man.
By Merritt Patterson Apr. 15, 2010 | 9:57 am | 5 Comments | Comments RSS
5 comments to "Men, I Need Your Help On This One"
  1. ninophile @ April 15, 2010 at 10:29 am
    3. He’s an idiot. He probably wears a lanyard at the office too.

  2. bc @ April 15, 2010 at 10:51 am
    A man should carry 3 keys (car, office, home), a cell phone, a wallet or money clip (front pocket or back, just make sure it doesn’t look bulky in the front), and one other accessory from the following list:

    1. Chapstick – no one likes chapped lips
    2. Pocket Knife – for those over 60 only. Must have matching woodshop in garage to qualify.
    3. Guitar Pick – must be 17 or younger and play in a band for the music (but really, to get chicks)

    All items must fit in any combination of front 2 and back 2 pockets. Cargo pockets are for the under 18 crowd, and nothing should be stowed in said pockets.

  3. Merritt Patterson @ April 15, 2010 at 11:15 am
    bc- I already loved you but this seals the deal. As you know, I’m all about the rules and these are excellent!

  4. Jay @ April 16, 2010 at 3:33 pm
    Maybe it’s “dunlap” – his belly dunlapped over his pants. Okay, so it may not work with keys but I have seen men do this with cellphones. They have a belt clip for the phone and they will turn it sideways so it doesn’t jab their belly, they will put it on the hip like a holster or they will put it around 4 or 5 o’clock if the hip is 3 o’clock and the spine is 6 o’clock. Normally the back doesn’t suffer from dunlap.

    I think in dress pants too that the front pockets are deep so with many keys they (the keys) hang low and kind of sway.

    As far as the caribener, I think those are the in-but-going-out thing these days, right?

  5. English major @ April 19, 2010 at 9:23 am
    Maybe he should get the Birkin bag that Merrit lusts after. Then he can pile in 9 pounds of crap, 8.5 pounds of which never get used on a daily basis.

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