BREAKING: The Katy Trail is NOT a Toilet

Yesterday, I cut out of work a few minutes early (sorry, Dan), so I could hit the Katy Trail before my fantasy football draft. We were running up against the Packers-Saints game, and since I was the only person in the draft that wasn’t on East Coast time, I had to suffer.

So.

Running north on the trail, a little past Fitzhugh, I spotted a running stroller off to the side of the trail. I didn’t think much of it until I saw a tiny leg sticking out from the carriage. My mind immediately went to that scene in Hook, where Robin Williams’ Peter Pan character is left in a park. But I digress.

A second later, a guy who I assume was the babe’s father exits from the bamboo, adjusting himself along the way. I was immediately pleased to realize that I would not need to rear this child as my own, and I carried on with my run, displeased but not disgusted.

Then the run took a nasty right turn.

Less than two minutes later, I’m still running north on the trail when I spot my Katy Trail nemesis. (Note: she does not know we’re nemeses (nemisises?), but I have built her up as a sort-of Evil Stepmother of the Trail.) Wearing her usual Madeline-esque straw hat, she suddenly disappears off the trail, leaving a friend on the pavement.

As I pass, I see her squatting, in plain view, on the edge of the bamboo. Not nestled in the bamboo, or, you know, IN A BATHROOM, but less than 10 feet from the edge of the trail. Buns in the breeze.

At this point I was about ready to yack into the nearest trash can, but I maintained my composure despite wanting to wave down the nearest bike cop and share my sordid tales. (In my fantasy, he would throw me on the back spokes and we’d cruise the trail looking for the offenders. I’d receive a hefty reward for nabbing the Trail Tinklers, and the cop and I would probably become best friends, or at least basketball buddies.)

I kept running until I hit Knox, and doubled back to my apartment; I had to use the bathroom.

By Bradford Pearson Sep. 9, 2011 | 9:21 am | 11 Comments | Comments RSS
11 comments to "BREAKING: The Katy Trail is NOT a Toilet"
  1. DemBones @ September 9, 2011 at 10:37 am
    Send this to Friends of the Katy Trail. Suggest their next fundraiser be for portapotties.

  2. Dave Pattillo @ September 9, 2011 at 11:41 am
    Thank you! About time someone called out on this idiotic ‘grossness’. We live near Fitzhugh and the trail. I am tired of seeing it.

    My suggestion: If your bladder is so small that you can’t take a walk in the park without ‘going in public’, don’t walk in the park.

    One comment – I am disgusted by the ‘dad’ you mentioned. What was he thinking? “It’ll only be a minute… nothing will happen in a minute.” Dumb, dumb, dumb.

  3. [...] has a far, far better tale for you. His dispatch/public service announcement from Katy Trail is both the grossest and funniest thing I have read in at least four days. He’s probably off bleaching his eyeballs, so [...]

  4. Doglover @ September 9, 2011 at 12:55 pm
    I’ve seen my share of soccer mom’s squatting to go along the trail. I tried to post to friendsofkatytrail blog, as politely as possible, but the post was ignored or deleted.

    But I don’t blme them. The problem is, during a 2 hour run, while hydrating, it is nearly impossible to hold it in (even for me, who has a strong bladder). If anyone knows of a rest stop along the way, please share!

    There used to be a portapotty near the AA center overlook, but not for years that I’ve seen.

    Thanks!

  5. Amy @ September 9, 2011 at 1:08 pm
    And with the Icehouse now being “party central” there are more bodily fluids being relinquished late at night as well. Maybe a large, nice and fancy restroom facility (that lives up to uptown standards of course) would be useful to eliminate or reduce the public display of urination/regurgitation. Of course safety concerns could be an issue.

  6. Scooter @ September 9, 2011 at 6:25 pm
    They better be careful. If they are caught doing that and found guilty of indecent exposure, they will have to register as a sex offender, in some states.

  7. Ben @ September 11, 2011 at 10:37 am
    This is payback for not allowing DART to use the property as they originally intended!

  8. sandy @ September 11, 2011 at 5:03 pm
    Sounds like a good ad for Depends. “for those days when your trail has no potty”.

  9. Neal @ September 11, 2011 at 10:21 pm
    It could be worse. Cyclists just let it out in their pants during a race – and not just #1…

    http://bestincycling.com/untold-confessions-of-a-pro-cyclist-when-doodie-calls/

  10. [...] of money to splash out mid-week. But if you love running on the trail and you’d like to help keep it clean, it’ll be worth [...]

  11. [...] used to live in Uptown, and used the trail regularly. I’ve seen peopleĀ using it as a toilet, and we all know about the coyotes. Long story short: the trail feels safe, but [...]

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