…is that kids can’t spell. Have you glanced through the comments section on that post? I’ve seen better grammar spray-painted on a boxcar.

Future leaders of America, clinging to AutoCorrect on their phones.

Back in 2009, SMU runner Monika Korra had a bold message for the world: She’d been kidnapped and brutally raped, but the experience wasn’t going to define her.

This spring, ESPN plans to run a TV feature about the Norway native’s story, which was reported last April in The Dallas Morning News. (This DMN post links to a trailer and the original writeup.) And rest assured, Korra’s still running her heart out.

Just … wow.

The Associated Press reports that Winklevoss portrayer Armie Hammer, formerly of Highland Park, spent a day in jail over 0.02 ounces of marijuana, three medicinal marijuana cookies, and a brownie. Sounds like he’s beating those munchies to the punch.

There’s nothing at DallasPolice.net that explicitly links all of these reported incidents near the corner of Park Lane and Central Expressway, but it doesn’t take one long to connect the dots.

18 WEDNESDAY

At 2 p.m., the rear driver’s side window of a silver 2012 Dodge sedan inexplicably shattered as the car traveled in the 7800 block of Park Lane.

At 6 p.m., two pellet guns were found in a department store at NorthPark Center.

Between 10 and 11 p.m., a gunman fired a shot into the window of an unoccupied office in the 9200 block of North Central Expressway. The bullet went through an interior wall and into a hallway, causing $3,000 worth of damage.

21 SATURDAY

At 8 p.m., police were alerted that a young man was seen carrying a gun at NorthPark Center. Officers found a suspect matching the witness’s description in the food court and discovered that he was carrying a BB gun. The young man was issued a citation for disorderly conduct and released to the custody of his 27-year-old mother.

For those who just can’t wait to get our paper every week and read the police blotter, now you can do it in real time. Head to the University Park Police Department website, where they map the crimes, day by day.

Is this new? I don’t know, but it’s new to me. The map also allows you to plot the registered sex offenders in your neighborhood, so have at it.

Detective/town spokeswoman/general nice human being Marty Nevil will be leaving Highland Park at the end of the month to spend more time with her family, she said.

I’ve always enjoyed working with Detective Nevil, and I’ll be sad to see her go. Reporters tend to set the bar pretty low when it comes to police and government spokespeople, but Nevil always soared over it. She’ll be replaced by Sgt. Lance Koppa, an 11-year veteran of the department.

Good luck, Marty.

Freelance writer Sarah Hepola was just enjoying some Gloria Steinem at the Northwest Highway Barnes and Noble when, out of nowhere, a man started masturbating next to her.

For the whole disturbing story, check out Sarah’s post about it. Seems like Barnes and Noble handled this pretty well, but yeeeeeesh. Sorry Sarah.

(h/t Frontburner)

Every once in a while I peruse the SMU crime blotter, reminiscing and wondering how I could convince Dan to allow me to write a “Never Been Kissed“-style story about the ins and outs of college life. It’s usually full of stolen laptops and kids who get caught blowing weed smoke through a toilet paper roll stocked with dryer sheets, but today’s search included this gem:

120012    10:53 PM.    Criminal Mischief:    Dedman Life Sciences Bldg./3110 University Blvd.    An unknown person caused damaged to the fountain by pouring Dawn dishwashing liquid into the water fountain.    Open.

The search continues for this bubbly bandit.

We’ve fielded our share of bogus email forwards decrying the declining state of NorthPark Center, most notably a string of them in February referring to “gangs.” While we couldn’t corroborate those rumors, the latest viral email appears to be somewhat legitimate.

The email alleges that a gang beat up a Dallas Academy student near NorthPark last week, and that the manager of Macy’s refused to provide help when the bloodied teen’s friends brought him to the store to clean him up.

Here’s what we know:

• There was an assault on Jan. 2. According to Dallas police, “20 to 40″ people beat up a 17-year-old boy and two others in a parking lot in the 9100 block of North Central Expressway.
• The 17-year-old boy is a student at Dallas Academy, a school spokeswoman confirmed, and “a great kid.”
• NorthPark issued a statement through Androvett Media acknowledging the incident, but defending the actions of Macy’s employees. “Macy’s staff responded professionally and compassionately in assisting this young man by calling 911 and contacting the Dallas Police Department.”

We’ve tried to reach out to the 17-year-old’s parents. Look for more details in this week’s paper.

Source: Politically Inclined

I spotted this sad parking job in the parking lot of the SMU bookstore on Mockingbird while at lunch. Looks like this cop really needed to pick up his laundry.

UP Police Chief Gary Adams, always one to defend his troops on this blog and others, jumped to his officers’ defense in the comments:

I have looked into this matter and the officers were out on call dealing with a mental patient who was exposing himself and urinating on the sidewalk. Since this is the case, I see no need to take any action against the officer who parked this vehicle. Had the officer been out on personal business, i.e., eating lunch, or even on a regular call that involved only taking a report from a retail merchant or citizen I can assure you I would more concerned about the manner in which this police vehicle was parked.

The moral of this story? Chief Adams is watching. Always watching.