A tired trope, but one that was bound to land here anyway.

I did a pretty cursory search for “Sh*t Park Cities Residents Say,” but didn’t find any hits. Isn’t there some engineering HPHS junior with an iPhone that’s willing to make this happen? A few quick suggestions:

- “Ugh, the parking’s always so bad at Snider Plaza.”
- “I saw Troy Aikman on the Katy Trail.”
- “Why is there ALWAYS so much construction on Preston Road?”

There’s nothing at DallasPolice.net that explicitly links all of these reported incidents near the corner of Park Lane and Central Expressway, but it doesn’t take one long to connect the dots.

18 WEDNESDAY

At 2 p.m., the rear driver’s side window of a silver 2012 Dodge sedan inexplicably shattered as the car traveled in the 7800 block of Park Lane.

At 6 p.m., two pellet guns were found in a department store at NorthPark Center.

Between 10 and 11 p.m., a gunman fired a shot into the window of an unoccupied office in the 9200 block of North Central Expressway. The bullet went through an interior wall and into a hallway, causing $3,000 worth of damage.

21 SATURDAY

At 8 p.m., police were alerted that a young man was seen carrying a gun at NorthPark Center. Officers found a suspect matching the witness’s description in the food court and discovered that he was carrying a BB gun. The young man was issued a citation for disorderly conduct and released to the custody of his 27-year-old mother.

While at NorthPark last night reviewing a film for FrontRow, I passed by BookMarks, Dallas Public Library’s bastion in the sea of commerce. This sign struck me as being particularly alliterative, especially for a Wednesday schedule.
Is this the norm? Do Mondays feature Mr. Magoo’s Magic Moment at 10 a.m. and Maniacal Mysteries at 1 p.m? If so, well done Dallas Public Libraries. If not, you fooled me.

We’ve fielded our share of bogus email forwards decrying the declining state of NorthPark Center, most notably a string of them in February referring to “gangs.” While we couldn’t corroborate those rumors, the latest viral email appears to be somewhat legitimate.

The email alleges that a gang beat up a Dallas Academy student near NorthPark last week, and that the manager of Macy’s refused to provide help when the bloodied teen’s friends brought him to the store to clean him up.

Here’s what we know:

• There was an assault on Jan. 2. According to Dallas police, “20 to 40″ people beat up a 17-year-old boy and two others in a parking lot in the 9100 block of North Central Expressway.
• The 17-year-old boy is a student at Dallas Academy, a school spokeswoman confirmed, and “a great kid.”
• NorthPark issued a statement through Androvett Media acknowledging the incident, but defending the actions of Macy’s employees. “Macy’s staff responded professionally and compassionately in assisting this young man by calling 911 and contacting the Dallas Police Department.”

We’ve tried to reach out to the 17-year-old’s parents. Look for more details in this week’s paper.

Forbes has an interesting article, posted Friday, that argues that instead of spending taxpayer money wooing stadiums, cities should instead fight for Apple stores.

The shops have become “anchors for affluent areas,” and promote more economic growth than stadiums, which often just encourage growth between and around their seats.

Dallas has two Apple stores (McKinney Avenue and NorthPark, plus another in Plano), falling behind New York (5, tied for most in the world with London), Los Angeles, San Francisco, Miami, Las Vegas, Pittsburgh (surprisingly) and Honolulu (incredibly surprising).

In Texas, Houston has three shops, San Antonio two, and Austin two. I can’t fathom how much good an Apple store on Lower Henderson or Deep Ellum would help stabilize those shops, though I may be in the minority among my friends in that respect.

Small businesses are important, but I think an anchor like Apple could help some of those shops flourish, and stick around.

I took my two young sons to see The Trains at NorthPark yesterday, and the looks in their wide eyes immediately told me we’d be returning for a second visit, if not a third. There’s only one downside to this benefit for the Ronald McDonald House of Dallas. Once my wife and I decided it was time to go, we got to hear our 3-year-old tearfully plead, “I want to see the trains again” for the entire walk to the car and half the ride home.

The last time I was at NorthPark (two Thursdays ago, as I killed time before my HPHS cafeteria shift) was the first time I’d been there since they closed up La Madeleine. Not seeing the longtime fixture (and its hallway seating area) next to the Dillard’s fountain was a bit disconcerting. Then I chuckled when I saw that the sign on the new La Madeleine location a few doors down still said “opening spring 2011.”

Well, spring has arrived. A ribbon-cutting ceremony and a “baguette salute” led by president Phil Costner and founder Patrick Esquerre are scheduled for 2 p.m. today. But the fun starts earlier than that — the first 50 patrons this morning will get a free jar of tomato basil soup and a $10 gift card. Go!

Austin Woods at last year's Hauntcert

We’re about 27 hours away from the start of the “Hauntcert” at NorthPark Center. This annual event features the Highlander Strings playing in costume. Past editions have included student musicians dressed as pirates, circus performers, aliens, vampires, and superheroes.

Highland Park High School orchestra director Peggy Tucker promises a “special surprise” for this year’s performance, which will feature Led Zepplin’s “Kashmir,” “Sweet Dreams” by the Eurythmics, and selections from The Phantom of the Opera and The Sorcerer’s Apprentice.

The music is scheduled to begin at 7 p.m. Tuesday in the mall’s North Court, which is between Macy and Nordstrom.

Staff photo by Christina Barany

What you see here is the playhouse I really wanted from the CASA Parade of Playhouses at NorthPark Center. Unfortunately, I didn’t win it. Nor did I win any of the other five I submitted raffle tickets for. New strategy for 2012: Decide which house I want, then drop all six raffle tickets into one box, thereby increasing my chances.

Here’s the good news: Dallas Court Appointed Special Advocates spokeswoman Katy Seitzler reports that the 2011 Parade of Playhouses raised $188,000, a huge increase over last year’s haul of $142,000. That increased total includes the winning bid of $8,500 for a nautically themed playhouse, the only one in the parade that was put up for auction.

As if you needed another reason to go the grand opening of H&M at NorthPark Center today, the Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders will be there. From 10:30 a.m. to 12:30 p.m., the ladies will hand out gift bags filled with untold treasures to the first 500 fans, says the team’s Facebook page.

Or if you don’t like crowds, I guess you could just order this uniform and entertain yourself.