Humor me for a moment as I put on my gossip columnist hat and entertain a little rumor. It’s not often that I get a phone call where someone dishes out dirt — that’s the kind of stuff I generally have to dig up myself.

Most commonly, phone calls and emails come flooding in about games won, galas well danced, and other joyous occasions. But yesterday, I got a call about the Junior Symphony Ball that included such memorable and visceral descriptions as “walking through vomit in cowboy boots,” “drunk fest,” and “complete orgy.” The caller, whose daughter attended the Jan. 28 ball, said chaperones turn a blind eye to alcohol and drug use, and that the event has been declining in decorum for years.

This all falls in stark contrast to the JSB that Michelle Duncan, co-chair of the event, attended.

“The things she’s attesting to are really not correct,” Duncan said.

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Here are the HPISD personnel changes from the past month, per the Jan. 17 Board of Trustees meeting:

Retirement

- Karen Zukoski, MIS music teacher, effective May 26, 2012

Leave of Absence

- Randy Allen, director of boys athletics (Though we hear this is just because of recovery from his car accident last year. Don’t worry.)

- Holly Bishop, HPHS science teacher

- Larry Jackson, HPHS economics teacher

- Amy Sepulveda, Bradfield gym teacher

- Kathleen Jackson, HPHS special ed assistant

- Carolyn Allen, UP instructional assistant

Resignation

- Alexey Soldatchenko, district computer technician

- Jack Hatley, special ed instructional assistant (to be replaced by Anthony Peters).

Addition

- Emily Caldwell, to fill a new special ed instructional assistant position at UP Elementary

We’ve told you previously about Jesuit booking big acts such as Randy Travis and Clint Black for its homecoming festivities. But St. Mark’s takes the cake by securing an appearance by Ben Stiller at its Celebrate St. Mark’s fundraiser. I wonder if Stiller is aware that Owen Wilson — his co-star in 10 films, including Starsky and Hutch, The Royal Tenenbaums, and the Meet the Parents series — was once expelled from St. Mark’s.

Leslie Melson and Jim Hitzelberger, the only two Highland Park ISD trustees whose terms are about to expire, have announced their intentions to seek re-election.

Hitzelberger joined the board in 2009 and holds the office of vice president. He is a 1974 graduate of Highland Park High School, where two of his sons are students. A third son attends Highland Park Middle School.

“It is an honor to serve HPISD and support the educational excellence that is a Highland Park tradition,” Hitzelberger said.

Melson joined the board in 2006 and was elected president in 2010. She and her husband, Jim, have four children who all graduated from Highland Park High School.

“I am grateful for the opportunity to give back to my community in this capacity and consider it a privilege to impact the success of our students,” she said.

HPISD trustees are elected at large and serve three-year terms. Municipal elections in the Dallas area will be held May 12. The deadline to file a candidacy is March 5.

So I was driving around the Park Cities area yesterday, rabble-rousing and door-knockin’, when I came across this street art.

I had never seen it before, so I was curious if anyone else had. First person to correctly identify its location wins my undying support for whatever you say in the comments section for the next month.*

* Note- Don’t be racist, or hatin’ on Rihanna. Those are my two breaking points.

Highland Park guard Tanner Stone (72) earned third-team all-state honors. (Photo: Jeremy Chesnutt)

Highland Park’s football team was well-represented on the 61st Annual Collin Street Bakery/Texas Sports Writer’s Association’s Class 4A All-State Team, which was released today.

Guard Tanner Stone, who is set to sign his national letter of intent with Duke on Wednesday, was named to the third team. The other five Scots — quarterback Brady Burgin, defensive back Mark Gottsacker, running back/kick returner Preston Miller, wide receiver William Morris, and linebacker Mason Shaw — were all honorable mention.

Aledo running back Johnathan Gray was named the Offensive Most Valuable Player, while Denton Ryan defensive lineman Mario Edwards Jr. was named the Defensive MVP.

A tired trope, but one that was bound to land here anyway.

I did a pretty cursory search for “Sh*t Park Cities Residents Say,” but didn’t find any hits. Isn’t there some engineering HPHS junior with an iPhone that’s willing to make this happen? A few quick suggestions:

- “Ugh, the parking’s always so bad at Snider Plaza.”
- “I saw Troy Aikman on the Katy Trail.”
- “Why is there ALWAYS so much construction on Preston Road?”

I’ve touched on the whole weather subject before, but I’ve got a few more things to say.

First off, this weekend was beautiful, Sunday especially. It made me think about spring, that quick, lonely season that appears briefly in Texas before the soul-sucking heat of summer.

Always the dutiful amateur meteorologist, I headed to check out the weather for the rest of the week. Next Saturday: 49 and rainy.

So, weather, your move. I’m fine with winter, I love it, but not when you tease us with spring. Make up your mind.

I know one person who read Glenn Hunter’s breaking news and didn’t understand that it was satire.

I just left the Scots’ basketball game at Pearce with cub reporter Zachary Koller. (“What’s that coach doing, Daddy? What’s that noise, Daddy?”) Two banners hanging below one basket caught my eye:

“Leave Skirts to Girls”

“Daddy Can’t Buy This Game”