Summer 2010 Book of Rules

It’s clear that we need an official Park Cities Summer Rule Book. Feel free to suggest additions, this is just an obvious start.

  1. Men, men, men, where shall I begin? Let’s see. How about with this: Get approval before doing the shirtless jog. This can be done via photo. Submit to me, I’ll post it, we’ll vote and then you’ll be either denied or granted a license to show the upper half of your body within the city limits. Do whatever you want in Dallas.
  2. Sorry men, but here’s another. If you are going to do the high dive (or the low dive for that matter) you MUST know in advance that you’re skilled enough to not belly flop. And no cannonballs. And watch the shirtless thing at the pool too. I’m just sayin’.
By Merritt Patterson Jun. 7, 2010 | 10:37 am | 15 Comments | Comments RSS
15 comments to "Summer 2010 Book of Rules"
  1. matt @ June 7, 2010 at 10:58 am
    Would some kind family care to spirit me through the gates so that I might go down the water slide? I will gladly pay the guest fee. I won’t wear surgical gloves. I am available at your leisure. Thank you.

  2. JB Hayes @ June 7, 2010 at 10:58 am
    Totally agree. My 3 year old niece is terrified of the male cannonballs and belly flops.

  3. whoknew @ June 7, 2010 at 11:11 am
    Please Add to #1- No shirtless mowing the lawn, tossing the football or riding scooters also!

  4. tinkerbell @ June 7, 2010 at 1:55 pm
    In a related issue, I stopped dead in my tracks at NM North Park this weekend. Spanx makes t-shirts (with lycra) for men!!! I guess this is an attempt to rein in the man-boobs!

  5. QM @ June 7, 2010 at 7:32 pm
    Tinkerbell-the name of those shirts is a travesty- “Manx” Way to knock it out of the park, Spanx marketers.

  6. AD @ June 7, 2010 at 10:17 pm
    Women, women, women. Please feel free to jog topless anywhere, including Dallas. If you’re not sure then please send me a picture or call me and I’ll cycle next to you as you jog and render an opinion. You can reach me at BR549.

  7. Bro @ June 7, 2010 at 11:25 pm
    Apparently Mansiere and Bro we’re already taken so “Manx” it is. If only men had something they could wear over the “manx” at the pool.

    Big props to the dads wearing t-shirts and hats in the pool. Your cover is our comfort.

  8. kmom @ June 8, 2010 at 10:15 am
    I get the willys from men that have a solid furry back – it looks like they’re wearing a fur shirt. Ew.

  9. PCMom @ June 8, 2010 at 11:39 am
    This one brings on my secondary embarrassment every time…my kids have labeled them “tighty whitey” and “tighty whitey wife” – a couple that runs in our neighborhood wearing…hold on…white compression shorts. The visual is unbelievably B-A-D.

  10. Kersten Rettig @ June 8, 2010 at 1:40 pm
    True that. I brought up the topic of “moobs” last spring because of the proliferation of clueless men running around town with no shirt and NO BUSINESS not wearing one. It’s worth repeating: if you have moobs, don’t go shirtless. I cover up my flabby parts, you should too.

  11. QM @ June 8, 2010 at 8:27 pm
    I might need to do an expose on “moobs” and the trauma it causes to the onlookers. Rettig-I will contact you for an interview. If you haven’t already, please develop some sort of post traumatic disorder from witnessing shirtless moobs–for uh journalistic integrity.

  12. HP Guru @ June 8, 2010 at 10:58 pm
    I’m a guy and a runner and I have to agree with the shirtless comments above. I’m not sure why these guys don’t just go to Sports Authority and buy a technical running shirt for $20. They keep you cool, keep the sun off and don’t destroy the beauty of our neighborhood.

  13. AD @ June 9, 2010 at 1:09 pm
    a couple more rules.

    1.Please ladies stop carrying purses the size of mini vans. Your husband has to take a second job to pay for it and I’m tired of standing in line behind you at Starbucks while you dig for your wallet which somehow has disappeared into the abyss.

    2.And those low cut, hip hugger jeans? Come on. I know many of you think it turns heads but unfortunately it turns them away. I only want to see the infamous backside of a plumber when my sink is plugged up.

  14. English major @ June 17, 2010 at 1:58 pm
    Ladies, ladies, ladies, face it, you are over 30 now.(I’m being generous to some)No matter how cute you think you look, the clothes at Urban outfitters are not for you.

  15. mom of 2 @ June 23, 2010 at 3:37 pm
    Unless you are HOT!!! Run Half naked all u want…Let the ladies enjoy.

Leave a Reply